Archive for May, 2009

Well, pull up a stool and I’ll tell ya, kid.

May 28, 2009

As soon as you tell me why you have such huge man hands.

whats drunk mama cover


(AA booklet published in 1977).


Maytag nuts

May 14, 2009

What are these things? Rubber tribbles? Dog teethers? Super easy grippable juggling balls? Particularly cruel and pointy children’s toys? Colorful, easily sanitized, sado-masochistic ben wa balls?  

No. They are “dryer balls” (known in trucker country as “dryer nuts”). “The Natural Way To Soften Fabrics!” Clearly by humiliating them as they tumble together in your dryer.  

Congratulate me for buying them! The Ontel Products Corporation did, in their useful and informative insert.

Some added benefits include a vocabulary lesson:




And the ability to cut down on people complaining about things:




*Based on feedback from actual users. 

(Not made-up users).

Though I was apparently mistaken that the balls humiliate the laundry.  They apparently work by rolling into small mountain ranges and destroying unfluffiness.


I gave them quite the test. Two loads of wash including  jeans, towels and sheets. Verdict: some fluffiness achieved, but I think I over-challenged them.  I don’t normally have so many things that defy drying all in one load.  

Ran another cycle of the dryer after taking out the small things that had dried fine. I noticed more lint than usual in the lint trap.  Also, and the end of the second cycle, the sheets, towels and jeans (the things that weren’t completely dry at the end of the first round) were dry, had attained a degree of fluffiness, and were less wrinkled.  And still more lint!

Two thumbs up for the wrinkle-humiliating and destroying nodule orbs.